


You Had One Job

by DyslexicTrashWriter



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: And Nana having to spend the rest of her life with him, Apologises in the form of murder, Based off a discord chat tangent, F/M, Imetsu is useless, Lal feels responsible for them meeting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 14:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19465582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DyslexicTrashWriter/pseuds/DyslexicTrashWriter
Summary: Imetsu isn't the best boss CEDEF has ever had, so they decide to send him on a little mission





	You Had One Job

Imetsu was not good at his job. In fact three days after he joined CEDEF he had already lost 40% of their meticulously kept files, broken the coffee machine and deleted the operating system on every computer he'd used. So, he was assigned a very important mission. His job, should he accept it, was to find Yamato Nadeshiko somewhere in Japan. Even Basil had to laugh when Lal told him over a cup of Assam tea. Yamato Nadeshiko being a Japanese term for “the ideal woman.” But knowing Imetsu he wasn’t observant enough to know that and had left with a smile on his face to try and complete his first given mission as boss. 

Nobody expected him to stay out on the mission as long as he did. 

Nobody expected him to return with an actual woman. 

Her name is Nana Yamato but it doesn't stay that way for long. 

“HE GOT MARRIED?!” Lal shouts, opening the email from Imetsu that had somehow been forwarded to his own address twice before making it to her inbox. She feels Oregano looking in over her shoulder. “Who’s idea was it to send him on a mission that involved finding a _woman_?” She says, judgment heavy in her voice. 

“The poor girl.” Lal mumbles, closing the email before she can seriously think about the mental and physical consequences of being married to someone as useless as Imetsu. Guilt and partial responsibility turning her stomach. 

Worse news comes a few years later when Imetsu arrives covered in coffee and asking for maternity leave. 

“Oh no,” Oregano sighs. “he’s reproduced.” Her face deadpan and pitying as she watches Lal try and explain why Imetsu isn’t entitled to leave traditionally meant for the person actually carrying the baby. 

\------- 

Lal felt responsible. There was no way around it, as she sizes up her target she tries to drown out her husband innocuous chatter. 

“Hey! Why don’t you try apologising?” Collonello asks. Lal ignores him, landing a perfect headshot instead. 

But the idea stays with her. She’s not good with words, but she knew of other ways to apologise for getting Nana so wound up with a total failure like Imetsu. 

\------------------

It arrives on Nana's doorstep the night before their anniversary. Inside is a card featuring a pretty drawing of flowers and the words “sorry” beautifully printed on the front. Inside is a handwritten note. _In case you change your mind._ At first, Nana worries it’s from an old admirer. But at the bottom of the card is a collection of signature from the people she recognises from the cluster of people Imetsu works with. As she reaches inside the box her hand clamps around a large bottle. The label tells her it’s chloroform. She puts the bottle in the back of a baby proof cupboard, out of Tsuna's reach. 

Next year, it’s a pair of garden shears and what must be several meters of large plastic sheets. The card reads _Dead bodies are heavy if you need a hand call us_. 

Nana chuckles and uses the sheers to start her own little flower patch in the garden. 

Another year, it’s arsenic and an empty bottle labelled “salt.” The card informs Nana that arsenic is virtually untraceable in small amounts and a friendly reminder of how much her husband loves salty the foods. The bottle itself is pretty, so Nana keeps it on the dinner table. The arsenic is hidden in a large empty detergent box that neither Imetsu or Tsuna will never think to touch. 

By year four Nana isn’t surprised when a black box arrives at her door. A large knife inside with an apology card reading _we won’t tell._ The knife is incredibly sharp, so Nana keeps it in a special drawer of particularly tough cuts of meat and larger vegetables. 

On their tenth anniversary, Nana waits for the box, every now and then pacing past the living room window to check for her expected gift. This year, it’s a card with _please just save us all the misery_ and a gun with a silencer attached. Nana admires the heavy black metal of the firearm as she holds it in her hand. She has no need for it now, but it would do if an intruder entered the house, so she stores it under her side of the mattress. 

By the time Tsuna is old enough to join the Mafia, it’s been twenty years with Imetsu. A small gathering of the Vongola closest friends arrive and Nana is more than happy to see CEDEF out of uniform and enjoying themselves. 

Several drinks later she finds herself alone in the living room with Lal. “Have you been . . . getting our packages?” She asks, squinting at Imetsu who’s all but falling over his own feet as he attempts to bring through a tray of drinks. 

“Oh, the lovely cards?” She asks innocently, tilting her head and offering Lal an honest smile. 

“and the . . .” Lal pauses, scanning the room briefly. “Help that came with them. We figured it’s kind of our fault you met Imetsu, and then you got pregnant so soon after the marriage it seemed a little . . . ya know.” Lal continues, taking a sip of her drink to replace the word she doesn’t have the confidence to say so brazenly. 

Nana nods. “The packages too. Thank you, very helpful.” She informs Lal truthfully. A confused look passes Lal's face as she tilts her own head. “I know it’s not something you might understand Lal, I do really love him.” Nana gives a heartfelt sigh as she watches her husband walk into the living room with his buttons done up wrong. 

“But if he ever skips town, I know who to call.” She winks before walking over to the love of her life and helping him once again. 


End file.
